She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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