why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
