Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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