i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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