after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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