She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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