you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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