She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
