his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
