READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
