We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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