my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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