by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
