just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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