in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
