You made me cry and you don't even care
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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