the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You may now shotgun with the bride
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
my liver is dry heaving
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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