I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
