why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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