the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
