I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
