so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
