well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
