Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
