Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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