I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
