loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
