Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize