i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
No more Irish car bombs ever.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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