so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
