Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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