guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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