Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
