Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
