he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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