We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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