Define "chronic" masturbator.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize