He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
