i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
