i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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