Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
