Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
