I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hippo gnu deer
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
