I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
