new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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