i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
