what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Randomize
