Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
