I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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