I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
only you would photoshop your dick
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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