I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
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I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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