I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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