No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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