he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
