Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
