i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
