1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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