the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
