so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
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