Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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