He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
