U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
