I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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