every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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