Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
