Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
